


Beyond the Veil

by MsYukari



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, POV First Person, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 17:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12113319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsYukari/pseuds/MsYukari
Summary: This is a oneshot that is set during the S5 finale so obvious spoilers as to how that ended. It's FreakyTits but they're not exactly in an established relationship, but I used the relationship tag anyway for specific reasons. Please note that this oneshot has nothing to do with my other story Why Did You Do It? They are completely separate.





	Beyond the Veil

I'm in darkness and I cannot breathe. The lid is heavy and even the crack in the lid refuses to budge.

My enemies put me here. My mistakes put me here.

My knuckles break against the box... this thin wooden box.

This makeshift coffin that has led me to my demise 6ft under.

Whoever buried me here will not pay as I cannot get out. Those little scissors were a laughable addition to aid in my so called escape.

Even my strength cannot get me out of here. I've been weakened; both physically and emotionally.

Those vultures... those filthy pigs in the kangaroo court that I was forced to participate in.

It would have been almost better for me to die left hanging by the noose. At least they would have known what happened to me. Those women would have paid for their crimes.

Now, I am stuck here and left to contemplate what is left of my dwindling existence.

I know the ones who hated me. Even Vera for some time hated me. She may still feel this way, although her recent actions say otherwise.

Does it surprise me that she saved me? Yes and no. Vera wears her heart on her sleeve and always will.

She could have left me to die. I would have been out of her hair and everyone else's for good.

My Deputy... Vera Bennett. That's all she will be to me. Never the Governor. No one can truly fill that position like I could, at least not while I was at Wentworth.

Those soft blue eyes and tender mouth. The tears on her cheeks after I opened my eyes. My hand that reached for hers as I stared into her eyes.

It was never hate. Not truly. One day I hope you realize this, my dear Vera.

It's becoming difficult to breathe. I'm getting tired and it feels like everything is weighing down on me.

In hindsight, I suppose I could have approached some things differently at Wentworth. I lost control. I know that now.

How long have I been in here?

Shallow breaths... my heart beating faster. My body feels hot in this teal tracksuit.

After some time, I make one last ditch effort to kick the box and miraculously, it opens.

I'm covered in dirt and I hold my breath to climb my way out of there.

I'm able to make my way out without much difficulty. I walk for so long in the dark. I feel cold and tired... so very tired.

I suddenly find myself in front of Vera's house. My young protege who is just now getting home. I hide behind her house trying not to be seen.

I watch her from the windows as she walks around her living room, appearing as if she's pacing.

Soon the lights go out and I don't know what to do. I have no where to go. I can't return home.

I walk up to the front door and jiggle the door knob. I'm surprised it's unlocked as it slowly swings open.

Her house hasn't changed much since I last stepped foot in here. There are some minor changes even in the dark that I can see. Touches of Vera, and I'm sure of when Jake lived with her.

My lip twitches thinking about him and I make my way inside her house.

I slowly walk down her hall and pause outside her bedroom. I can hear gasping sobs and I'm not used to dealing with a sobbing woman but I'm in her house.

I carefully open her door and see her on the bed. She is small and curled onto her side. Her wavy hair sprawled out onto the pillow and her body is shaking.

I step forward and I feel something deep inside. Some might call it empathy. I'm not sure but I feel an urge to hold her.

“Vera.”

She continues to cry and I lay down on her bed and wrap my arms around her. She keeps crying and I've been around women who cry... I've seen Vera cry. I've enjoyed visually drinking in their tears, but this time... this time I feel a deep pain inside my chest. A pain that hasn't been felt since Doreen rejected me... since the pictures of Jianna were left in my office... since the night Vera left my house.

I stroke her hair and kiss her temple. Vera shivers in my arms and I hold her tightly.

“I'm sorry. I wish I handled things differently. You showed me who you are when you saved me. That wasn't a weakness. You're not a disappointment. You're my Deputy... always will be.”

Vera turned to face me and I can feel her hands cover her face as she continues to cry. She lowers her arms and doesn't return my embrace. I hold her closer as she keeps crying.

“Thank you...” I whisper.

“I'm so sorry,” Vera whispers back.

It takes a lot for me to hear this from her and to be able to respond in kind.

“I know... I-I'm sorry too. I'm grateful to you.”

Vera gently rests her head against my shoulder with her head on the pillow.

“I'm so sorry. You never got a chance,” she says, her lips trembling.

I stroke her hair and kiss her forehead.

“I didn't always make it easy,” I say softly.

“I love you, Joan. You're the one I loved and hated. I hated that I loved you. I loved and hated everything about you.”

My breath hitches and I caress her cheek.

“It's possible to love and hate at the same time. I always knew we had a bond. I-I care for you. I love you... I know that now. Let me correct my wrongs.”

Vera cried and shook her head. “I'll never be able to say these words to you.”

I stare at her and kiss her forehead and hair. “You weren't able to before, but we don't have to worry about the complications of the prison. I know it won't be easy...”

“I've lost you... how could Will do that?”

I pull back and look at her face. “What are you talking about?”

Vera covered her eyes and sobbed. “I loved you so much and how could he do this? He took you away. He never gave you a chance. And to think that he tried, and it was too late. I should have saved you. I should have protected you.”

“You did save me...” I whisper.

“I'll never be able to speak to you again. I'm so sorry for what happened. May you rest in peace,” Vera said and kept sobbing.

My heart is pounding and I notice how Vera has not touched me. I lean down and kiss her lips softly and she's crying and there is no response. I kiss her again, lingering and wrap my arms around her.

“I know now... I know all of these things. You don't need to keep feeling guilty. It wasn't your fault. We've both made mistakes. Don't repeat mine,” I whisper.

My eyes fill with tears and I stroke Vera's hair and lean down close to her ear.

“I'll always love you. Thank you. I don't know how to say goodbye but I know I have to... you'll always be that little mouse to me,” I whisper and I feel my tears roll down my cheeks.

I kiss her again, and there is a moment that I know she's aware of my presence. She looks up and touches my chest and I smile sadly.

I stroke her hair and move away from the bed. She cannot see me. I don't know what this is or where I am... or how this is happening, except we had unfinished business. I feel somewhat adrift and confused but I have what I always wanted... closure.

I watch Vera as she looks around and her eyes center on me, and I know she senses something.

“Joan?” She whispers.

“Goodbye, my dear Vera and be well. Wait for me... beyond the veil and that is where I'll be."

I'm no longer in her house. Wherever I am it's not this world and it's peaceful. You got your wish, Vera. I'm not in any pain. Remember me, but please don't mourn me. Concept of time doesn't exist here, but I know I'll see you again.

I can finally rest.

**Author's Note:**

> So this was something different than I normally write. I wanted to write a oneshot that was similar to this in some way, and I wanted to do it in a different writing style. It's very rare that we see very many stories where Joan actually dies during the S5 finale. I know it's sad and it's heartbreaking to think of this happening to her, but it's a very real possibility that they could do on the show and I wanted to explore doing this in a short story for this style. So despite the ending, I still hope people liked that in some way.


End file.
